I guarantee that this entry is worth reading. Andaming pang-chismax. Hehehe.
Friends and Chismosas, alam nyo bang wala na talaga ako balak magsalita tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay? Pero dahil nagulat ako sa mga nalaman ko kagabi, wala ako magagawa kundi umamin na. At sori nga pala kung medyo one year late na ang aking confessions.
Babala: Taglish ang mababasa nyo kasi aminado akong medyo bobo ako sa English di tulad nung iba na sobrang galling, nakakarindi tuloy minsan. At. Yep, I WAS a liar.
ISYU 1
June 6, 2005 break-up
Oh well, eto na ang explanation na matagal nyo nang hinihingi sakin. BAKIT? I won’t lie na ha. Sabi ni Honey, life is short and sinning is a privilege. Funny di ba? Pero think about it, tama sya. Sino ba naman ang ipokritong magsasabi na ayaw nya ng fried chicken dahil sa allergies niya kahit kitang-kita na naglalaway sya? Wala. Pakyu sya kung meron man. Hehehe. Sya, sya, para matapos na. In bullets na lang para eye-friendly. Brace yourselves.
• April 12, 2005
– grad ni bro sa Bicol kaya kelangan ko umuwi para sa moral support. Hehe.
– Eh nakita ko si Chinky na asa US na ngayon at maganda na ang buhay. Sabi niya, “nagkita na ba kayo?” Sumagot ako ng hindi. Tas sabi niya, “magkikita rin kayo nun.” Suspense mode muna. Mamaya na yung kung sinuman nitutukoy ni Chinx.
– Pinuntahan ko si Bhal, ang aking bespren sa Colbi, kasi nagpapasama ako sa kanya maghanap ng computer shop para tapusin ang isang article na baon ko sa bakasyon para sa aking internship. OO. Tama ang nababasa mo, NAG-UUSAP KAMI NI AMBAL. Bespren ko yun eh, anong magagawa mo? Tas yun, kwento-kwento; bawal ko kasi sya iteks kaya takas na lang ako sa Bicol ‘pag andun ako para makausap ko sya.
– Bigla nagtanong si bespren kung alam ko na raw ba ang nangyari sa mommy ni Jette. FYI: Si Jette ay eks-slash-present boypren. At ngayon alam niyo na kung sino yung tinutukoy ni Chinx kanina. Sabi ko inde pa kasi ano nga naman ang malay ko eh wala na akong balita sa mokong na yun. Yun pala, Mama France passed away last March (2005) because of cancer. I was shocked. Syempre, ka-close ko yun dati eh. Ayun, kwento-kwento ulit.
– Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang gusto kong i-condolence si Jette ng mga panahon na yun. So ang ginawa ko, tineks ko si Chinky at hiningi ko number ni Jette.
– Simpleng teks lang, walang iba (kahit isang FORBIDDEN act). I heard what happened to your mom. I hope you’re okay now. –kaiz
– Aba sumagot ang loko-loko, okay na raw sya tas kung asan daw ako. By that time, nagta-type na ako run sa shop na pinagdalhan sa’kin ni bespren. I told Jette I was there. Tas ayun, pumunta sya. Wala lang. Gusto niya lang daw ako makita at tignan kung ano na hitsura ko.
– *muling ibalik mode* pero inde rin eh. Syempre na-excite ako na makita sya after years of not seeing him.
– Hapon na, grad na ni bro. Parang totoo yung serendipity. Kasi yung tryk na nisakyan namin papunta sa skul ni bro ay ang tryk pala na sasakyan ni Jette, kasi nikausap niya na yung drayber bago pa man kami sumakay dun, papuntang skul din para manood ng grad. Nagulat kame parehas nung nagkita ulet kame. FYI: We were hayskul switharts sa aming alma mater sa Bicol. Ang kewl daba?
– Gabi naman, hahahaha. Alam kong bawal ako lumabas ng house sa Bicol at makipag-usap sa aking mga friends, pero I still did it pa rin. Aba, miss ko na kaya yung mga yun. So ang ginawa ko, punta ulit aku kila bespren, niyaya ko sya maglakad-lakad. Tas, andun din pala si Jette. Hehehe. Wala lang, wala pa rin yung muling ibalik mode.
– Uminom kame sa isang beer house (sagwa, beer house). Ay mali, sila pala kasi 7-up yung niinom ko. Bakit 7-up? Kasi bawal din ako uminom ng alak nun. Huhuhuhu. Ayun, di naman ako nalasing sa sopdrinks kaya nakauwi pa naman ako sa bahay. Syempre, nihatid ako nila bespren at eks-slash-present boypren. Hehehe. Pero kelangan ko pumunta sa city of Naga neks day para mag-withdraw ng pamasahe pabalik Manila.
• April 13, 2005
– Ayun, triple date kami sa Naga. Hehehe. Nidala pa nga nila ako sa room nila sa boarding house nila eh. FYI: My boyfriend and guy best friend are like brothers. They share a room in that boarding house.
– Ang saya-saya ko that day. SOBRA. Ewan ko. Pero wala pa nga rin yung muling ibalik mode. Hanggang kinahapunan, nung pauwi na kami, sabi ni Jette me ibibigay daw sya sakin kasi wala na rin naman daw gagamit nun. Ayun, Victoria Secret na Peach flavored perfume. Nagulat ako. Pucha, not everyday in your life makakatanggap ka ng ganun, especially in my case. I was kinda like a sugar mami instant noodles. LOLS. That was her mom’s perfume. Halos di nagamit.
– So folks, what do you want me to feel? Apathy? Dedma? Eh tangina. Ikaw ba naman ang bigyan ng medyo expensive na pabango ng iyong eks at sabihan ng “wala na kasi ibang gagamit.” Parang, HELLER. Bakit ako? Bakit ako of all the people? Madami naman siyang pinsan na gerls. At bakit binibigay niya sakin ang gamit ng mommy nya na dapat eh tinatago niya? Parang, uy me kakaiba ah.
– Gabi, on the way papuntang Manila kateks ko si Jette. OO, you’re reading it right man. I was texting him since April 12 at di mo alam yun. Napag-usapan namin yung buhay-buhay namin ngayon. Me boypren ako at sya wala kasi dapat gerlpren, di ba? Potah. LOL. Yun pala, ayaw niya talaga magka-gerlpren kasi wala ata nagugustuhan. FYI: Ako ang una at nag-iisang naging gerlpren ni Jette.
– Lab niya pa rin daw ako kahit na nag-break kami nung persyir kaleyg ako. Pero nung nalaman niyang me boyplen na ako, di na sya pumasok sa eksena para di kami magkagulo. See man, you should still be thankful to him.
– Ayun na ang muling ibalik mode. Pwede na kayo kumanta. At narealize ko na di ko lang pala na-miss yung eks ko kasi antagal namin di nagkita. There was more than missing him but I just didn’t know what was it.
• April 14, 2005
– Back to Manila. Interview namin para sa OJT. Sobrang kabado ako at confused. Pero I had no intentions of telling Karlo what happened in Bicol. With Jette, I mean. Though wala naman talagang masama kasi I was with friends din, not just with Jette.
– Para kasing I want to break up with Karlo to be fair kasi nga nako-confuse na ako sa feelings ko. On second thought, ayoko kasi we’ve been together for almost three years and I didn’t wanna waste that.
– I even tried to ignore him para ma-gets niya. I was like cold to him for how many days. Pero ewan. Parang wa-epek. So back to the normal mode. A sweet, over jealous girlfriend. Aminado rin ako jan. Pero I didn’t start it. I wasn’t like that when our relationship started. Ask him why, if you can.
***I was like that till May last year. I mean, texting Jette whenever I can, without Karlo’s knowledge. Hehehe. I was a bad girl. But I was happy doing it. Ewan ko if Karlo noticed that texting stuff. Pero parang hindi. Malay ko.
• Last week of May 2005
– Fiesta fever sa aming probinsya kaya kami umuwi, with my bros.
– Bawat hapon ay nasa terrace ako ng aming house sa Bicol with my visitor, Jette. Doon kami hanggang mag-gabi. At masaya ako kasi okay lang sa aking mga tita at tito si Jette.
– I was falling in love with my ex-boyfriend, again. And that time, it was MUCH deeper.
– May 30, afternoon. Fiesta. Asa house sya. May handa kame at nakikaen sya. Hehehe. Pero with my friends.
– Nung gabi, I was with him sa parang town party sa plaza. I got to meet a lot of his friends and relatives. This time, uminom na ako. Drink to death talaga.
– At eto ang climax nun. Habang ang lahat eh masayang nagpa-party, asa upuan lang kame ni Jette. I fell asleep, dahil sa kalasingan, with my head on his shoulders. We were holding hands. He took care of me. Pinunasan niya yung pawisan kong katawan. At kahit wasted ako, me natatandaan ako sa mga sinabi niya. “Kabit lang ako.” He never let go of my hands. We kissed. At ayun, the rest is history. Isipin mo na kung ano gusto mo isipin. Malay mo, baka tama yang mga iniisip mo pero baka mali rin.
– I promised Jette that I’d break up with Karlo pagbalik ko sa Manila.
• June 4, 2005
– I arrived in Manila.
– Me swimming sa Laguna with my friends in Cavite. I was supposed to bring along Karlo and he was even preparing for it since kopong-kopong. Pero I didn’t. Kahit me pera ako, nagdahilan na lang ako na my money wasn’t enough for us. Sorry dude. That’s layp eh.
– My friends in Cavite were the first one to know what I was going through. I was having a hard time thinking of what to do then, with a confused mind, a confused heart. Kasi nga they were surprised na Karlo wasn’t with me. Pero sabi nila, follow my heart. So there you are folks. Thanks for that!
– I weighed things. Was I going to throw the three years away with Karlo and start a new one with doubts and fears? Was Jette worth the risk? Who’s better, the dean’s lister or the low profile probinsyano?
• June 5, 2005
– At around 4pm, Karlo was texting me to go home na ‘coz he had a surprise for me raw. Tickets for me and my bros sa Star City. Ginawa ko na ata lahat ng dahilan kasi ayoko na talaga siya kausapin. Btw, I’ve made up my mind already ng time na yun. It’s over between him and me.
– I intently went home late para makatakas sa kung anuman ang naghihintay sakin.
• June 6, 2005
– Karlo and I went to UST to fix some school requirements. Di kame nag-usap the whole day. I really didn’t wanna talk to him. Even if I knew that there was something, I didn’t initiate the talk.
– Ayun, nag-usap kami sa bahay. Di nga usap eh. Kasi he asked me what’s happening with me. I told him that I’d just write him a letter. At ayun nga. Isang kasinungalingan ang sinabi ko na I wanted time and space. Sabi kasi ni Ice, “Wag mo sabihin yung totoo. Sinaktan mo na nga eh, wag mo na lang itodo.” Pero partly true rin naman yun. Medyo nasawa rin kasi ako na everyday eh kasama ko sya. Sabi nga ng boring friends (honey, trix, abby, ey, yas, glai, kc, chuck, mariz, leng) “Wala ka namang layp nung boypren mo pa si Karlo eh.” And that is pretty much true.
So friends, sa lahat, sorry talaga sa lies and not talking about the real reason behind our break up. I hope you all understand me. Now you guys know. I am human and I am not perfect. Maybe the only thing that I can be blamed of is that I love Jette more than anybody else.
I told you I had no intentions of telling these things kasi nga these could open healed wounds. Pero something/someone made me do this.
Just two things I’d like to share:
1. Jette is the one of the most wonderful person I’ve known. A low-profiler who knows nothing but humbleness in spite his achievements. Sobrang bait that even when you’re yelling at him na, he’ll just say na naiintindihan ko yung tao. Isang tao na wala ka yatang maipipintas dahil sa kabutihan. He taught me how to be cool kahit na binubugbog na ako ng kalaban and that trust is a very important thing in a relationship. He made me see that there is life outside OUR world. I dunno. I really just love him. And
2. matalino man ang isang tao, HINDI RIN.
6 cried
